Pamela Anderson's in my Blog!

If you put buzzwords in your blog posts will it draw people from google? Probably not because a couple of days ago I had Jessica Simpson and you'd think that would have drawn someone. Maybe Pamela Anderson is a better draw than Jessica. Or Britney. Please, if you've been drawn to my blog due to searching on Britney or Pam, let me know.

Giving Point to the Pointless

I wonder how many days in a row I can write in this blog without a single reader before I lose interest. As you can see I've already run out of content. I guess the next step is to start including links to other websites as my posts. That way I'll still feel cool. Or I could be like my brother and use this opportunity as a pulpit. Nah, I won't do that. I'll wait until he starts his own blog and then I'll link this one to that one so you (my non-existent reader) can laugh at him along with me.

Secretly this blog does have a point: its to see what usefullness a blog has. I'll probably end up hanging myself down the road with something stupid I write, but maybe this is more than just an online pet rock.

A Whole Day Has Passed and not a Single Visitor to my Blog

Does it suprise me? Of course not. Maybe Stephen King has a blog... I bet his would be pretty cool. Or wouldn't it be great if Jessica Simpson had a blog? Or the pope. I think I could learn from a papal blog.

My Readers

I like to imagine that as I sit here writing my blog that there are three... no, lets say seven... seven people in the world that are someday going to stumble across it, read it, and of course, have their lives forever changed by what I have to say. So thats seven out of six billion. Not bad. Of course, I could have a better response by writing a letter to the editor to my local newspaper, but what the hell. Its 2005, why not a blog.

Lets be realistic, this is stupid. I am not important enough for you to read my blog, and if you are reading this blog, first I apologize, unless you're one of my friends, in which case you're reading it to appease me. Secondly, I feel bad for you that you have nothing better to do with your time than spend it reading the stupid opinions of people like myself who really don't matter. This is why I am led to believe that the blog is the next great egotrip. My online diary is going to be important to people. Yeah right.

Hey, to those seven people who read this, thanks for your time.

If I Were the King of France

If I were the King of France
I would eat mutton without any silverware.
I would have the silverware and it would be beautiful and silver.
But I would still eat the mutton with my hands
because I am the King of France.

If I were the King of France
I would blow my nose at the dinner table.
I wouldn't even use the fine cloth napkins that I would have.
Instead, I would call for a wench and blow it on her dress
because I am the King of France.

If I were the King of France
I would wear at least three rings on every finger.
And they would be bejeweled and would cost enough to feed my people for a year.
But I wouldn't care about my people
because I am the King of France.

If I were the King of France
I would be so overweight that my fat oozed over my rings.
But I wouldn't need to worry about calisthenics or staying fit
because women are attracted to power and I have power
because I am the King of France.